A long last night

It was in fact a long might last night. Not because I was out or anything, just a lot of emotions surging through myself. I was in the community center here, where there is wifi, which is amazing, but it takes so damn long to get onto the browser and then sometimes it does not even work. So I was a little pissy about that…and other important things.
Everything is alright though…today is a different day. Today has to be a different day.

I woke up this morning and was so tired. My head was still asleep as well as my body, and I did not want to pray or wake up, all I wanted to do was sleep, but my better half prevailed! I got up and ate breakfast. While I eat breakfast, I try to read the bible. I want to take this summer just to get back into the word and try and figure out a solid groundwork for my faith.
I am reading through Romans this summer. It has been quite the journey! Today I read about Abraham being our father of faith, and he is the example we want to follow. It also talked about when Abraham had faith even in his and Sarah’s old age, about having a babay that would guide the nations forever more. That even though Abraham’s body was “dead,” his faith was not. His faith was passionate, alive, working. That although he could not see into the future…God had a plan for him. An amazing plan…an extraordinary plan…this blows my mind.
I am here. I am scared. I am weak. And I still am here.
God can take me anytime he wants to, yet I am still here. I have no idea why, but he has something to teach me.
As I was reading this passage…all I could think about was a friend I made in Oregon. He is one of a kind….red I like to call him. We were talking one day both deeply and passionately about the wounds that we have received over the years, and I was amazed that we were both still here choosing to pursue a relationship with God. We were and are nonetheless. And so as I was reading this passage, the word WOUND came to mind like a brick wall. We are all broken, and we are all searching…we have wounds. Some are physical ailments, some are mental ailments, most are emotional. We have these wounds, and still God chooses to use us in the most peculiar ways. We have to have faith like Abraham…we have to choose faith like Abraham to heal these wounds, and in the process let amazing things happen.
That is all I have.