amazing day.

i sit. i breathe hard, i exhale barely. you have caught my breathe yet again.

short walk under clear skies. fingers cold amongst the empty hands.
breathe in. breathe out, you can do this.
warm concrete bricks. good music. better voices.
to be happens. dancing bodies, eyes reading for knowing.
secrets worn on others sleeves.
caution. step back: too much. too much.

sleep comes finally, alone once again.
pictures fly in and out of view. unseen light hits the inside of my eyelids.
one picture plays over and over: groves of existentialism. late night giggles.
let me be, stop torturing my heart.
is this life not funny?
the heart wants what it can never have.
we play this game with ourselves: this game of "what if". we play ourselves into heartbreak.
we build ourselves up on these romantic ideas of love. these things that would NEVER be.
not that society should not let it happen,
butthattheywouldneverbethatperson.
letmewakeup.

is it bad to live one day in a lie?
i loved yesterday. it was a really really nice day.
you were my lie...