letting go.

made him cry twice. different ways each time. wish it was not like this.

I feel sometimes people should be given grace for leaving.
I wish that i did not have to leave, but how else will she listen. if she will not listen to my words, maybe my silence will have some effect.
i miss them already...i do not know if this will ever be the same.

i do not know how else to say it. idoloveyou.
will you remember that?
will you forget that?
please know that this does not displace my love for you!
how many times do i have to say it?
how many ways can i express it?
in what language is it easiest for you to understand?
i love you.

my friend at dinner tonight was living life for me. he was screaming what i was too scared to show: emotion.
he just kept on getting distracted and would every so often get lost in the conversation and just fall out of the prefect calculated steps we were all so fond to.
he would just stare out into the room, seeing the contents of his mind upon the black hole of the room, letting it suck his attention.
i wanted to so badly fall out of step and be with him. I could not bare to feel though.
it is quite hard to be alone. it feels shitty. i need to do this though...
i mean, have i not been training for this all year long?
some would say, that freedom is freeing...it never really feels that way though.

let it fly.
let me remember to fly.
iforgothowto.