an airplane ride away.

A soccer game, a bedroom, a movie credits.
A blur, eyes straining the horizon for what once was.
Everything falls, but somehow holds.
A long trip north, just two people.
Hearts spill into an alabaster jar of love.

We are just two people.
Connected only by love.
I search for the meaning of love. of grace. of forgiveness.
And here it has been walking up and down driveways for the past 19 years of my life.

I remember the excitement waiting for you to come home,
Sitting, searching out the window for a familiar light.
Not being able to contain, bursting out of the door.
Being received with love,
pouring into you what I could muster, out of these small hands.

You are so good to me. You are so gracious with me. You are too many things for me.
I am careless with you. I am selfish with you. I am not enough for you.
You teach me forgiveness, while I scream.
You show me love, while you hold me.
You encounter me in the best way you can, and yet it is more than enough.

I have never known love like yours.
I do not understand it. I cannot fathom it. All I can do is try.
Is trying enough? I will never be, what you are for me.
You amaze me. You acknowledge me. You know me.

You are a funny thing, that you are.
You do not know me at all, yet you know so much more about me than I do.
You cannot understand, but you still accept me.
You have no reason at all to love me, and yet you persist.

All these years, I never knew.
All these years, I fought free of your arms.
All these years, I was holding onto the past.
When I knew nothing, you understood everything.

Somehow, you found it in your heart to love me.
When I was, by society, unlovable.
While others would have thrown me out,
You opened your doors.

It takes a man to love. it makes you a man to love, you are a man.
When I needed a mother, you held me.
When I needed a friend, you listened the best,
When I needed to destruct, you would build me up.
You are special. You are a beautiful. You are everything.

When I think of you, I used to see:
Distance, oppression, and carelessness
When I see you know, I see: love and everything that embodies it.
I see cheering me on, while it is my turn to shine.
I see altruism, while I conducted a coup d’état, invading like an insect
I strain, through tears of joy, onto a dim-lit room,
Being held in your arms, singing, and encouraging me in the unknown.

[A middle aged man,
sipping his mocha with three raw sugars,
staring at the people that pass by.
He knows what he is looking for.
He cannot name it, but once he finds it, he will not give up.

Persistence and valiance, hidden beneath an old grin.
People perceive him to be shy and quiet,
break past this façade and you will see beauty that nobody has never known.
Not even he can recognize it.

His life has been a hard one, not seeing the sun often,
His love has always been constant, intake lacking.
He knows what lonliness is, he understands a broken heart.
He is scared to speak, for if he does…he might break.
And so, he sits, and becomes a watchmen.
Searching for the untamable, the unnamable, the un…

Suddenly, his eyes spark, his slouch stiffens
A familiar grin spreads across the wrinkles
Tears start to brim.
He has found it.

And then a blond wild thing,
Arms flailing, eyes bright, cheeks red,
Comes, running towards this man.
He has no other idea than scooping this little thing,
Into his arms, never letting go.
He picks him up…

And everything settles.
Things make sense again.
All the love transcends this fear.
Nothing can break this.]

i choose you too.