such confusion.

i am confused.
i guess i feel like i should be impressing someone right now. ha! i feel like i should be writing in this differently to make you see me more, more like you. gosh, when did i become so...hopeful? so dumb? so passionately enthralled by the idea of you? we will never happen. gosh.
i see myself being repulsed by the idea of hopeless dreaming and hopeless love, but i am exactly what i hate.

i watch so much everyday, from place to place. i walk, i see. i see, i judge. i judge, iamshamed. how can i be so naive and ignorant to the fact that everybody is in the same boat.
scared. acceptance crazed. expectations never fully met.

so many thoughts swirling inside. so many things left unsiad, but felt through my bones.
what.the.fuck.

none of this was supposed to happen. i guess i had this idea. this plan of what could go down, not of what actually will go down.

ifallfast.

let it fly. let me fly.
p.l.db