I try to make myself think and talk, but nothing really ever comes except brain-farts and never ending babble rambles of yesteryear.
My passion has receded to the caves of my being, and feelings have recoiled since the days of winter.
i feel lost most days without such structure as newberg had, but everyday is a learning experience. it's funny to me how much one can forget about a place or a thing not used in a few blue moons. I feel as if this old world is new and...almost terrifying to experience now. It does not have the same old rounded knobs, the same flickering lights, the familiar smiling faces; but instead includes a plethora of new, clean edges, bright blinding lights, and plastic unused people. To be in this new, but old environment is something i have not experienced before...it's almost as if i had moved off the continent for a year.
i guess it just takes some getting used to, you know? which is weird and totally unexpected, but needed nonetheless.
i guess this time of patience and waiting has just been hard. I am not used to it. i am used to getting what i want...
welcome to the real world i guess? baha!
oh how i miss high school.
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