"I know that I can trust you."

Gosh, so many damn things have happened in the past two weeks it’s almost too daunting all to talk about. Where to start…

I think the word that invades my mind is .I N T E N S E.

From the beginning:

Me and a dear friend of mine drove up the coast on our way back up to school, and it was all encompassing. Truth upon our hearts and lips with every bend in the curvy road. Lies shouted at the cold Northern Pacific Ocean. Play along the invasive blackberry bushes of the highway and fun in Portland with other dear friends. We arrived at school, and immediately started training for Peer Advising, which is just helping with Orientation and First Year Seminar classes for the incoing graduating class of 2016.

The Middle:

It was amazing. Never before have I had so much fun with a group of people that I was only working with in a non-spiritual capacity. I mean, everything is spiritual, but Peer Advising is, to an extent, nothing more than practical than spiritual. This might sound weird, but it was spiritually and emotionally filling to just be a, “worker bee,” and just do what I was told. I think after this summer of making decisions on my own, and how spiritually exhausting it was to be present at camp, God knew that I needed to just get shit done and do work. At camp, I was always on call so I mean work came when it did and when it wanted to. I was never told when I needed to work or where I needed to be most of the time-so to just have a schedule and structure was nice. Ironically, it was exhausting. I was never that tired at camp, ever; a lot of energy was needed for this last week. God provided, and it was beautiful.

Inbetween Here and There:

Coming back to such a familiar place, being such a different person is an interesting thing-maybe not a different person, but a more free person. More free in Christ. More free to be me, and not care about lies that I have in the past. Lies that tell me I am different and that is weird. Lies that exclude me from the general population. Lies that mean I cannot go to Heaven. Lies that say that I am not skinny enough, fit enough, _______ enough. Lies that tell me that to be satisfied, I have to be in a relationship always. Lies that tell me I am not male enough. Fuck that shit dude.

So being back in this community has been amazing. I have had some really rich conversations with great souls, and some more intense conversations that were a little draining. One theme though in all of them were that we were searching for T R U T H placing our eyes on Jesus, and desiring his peace and strength. In the joy of being honest with fellow peers, and in the deep deep brokenness of lies, Jesus was there. In the rejuvenation of long friends and the deep and passionate hurt of long friendship, Jesus was there. In the quietness of monotonous tasks, and the energy of new faces, Jesus is there. Jesus is here, everywhere, and all we have to do is notice Him. Perspective.

{I know I have said this a lot, and it is T R U T H. I have never felt this confidence before. Christ is alive and working in me and through me-I am merely a vessel of his love. All that I have to do is stay free from Satan’s L I E S, and confident in the fact that Jesus died for my humanness so that I could be free. Knowing that fact is one thing, but believing it and getting there has been such a long, intense, bloody, heartbreakingly perseverant endeavor. If you take anything away from this blurb yet again about freedom, know that it is there. Know that if you just press on a little longer, it is there-just around the curve. Believe that through every hardship, the perseverace to keep moving along and trudging through the muck and mire builds. Believe that Christ died for a reason, for you and I. Believe this. Know that we have a duty to spread God’s love throughout this world in the capacities that we have been blessed with. Believe that you are capable of spreading His kingdom further than you imagined. Know that Christ has given us the room to be free of lies and burdens and heartbreak, to rely on Christ’s providing, and to invite others into that freedom. Believe that Christ has placed in us the capacity and responsibility to love others in beautiful and creative ways. Believe this. If you can do anything productive today-believe this.}

Today: 

Hebrews 2-3. Please take the time to read this, and listen to this song- “Climb,” by United Pursuit Band. Kill two birds with one stone, and do them at the same time-WOOHOOO! Multi-tasking!

Family, I miss you and love you.